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I’ve cultivated a multitude of multicultural fuckbuddies… like a one-man United Nations.
A diverse mix of mates means I am treated to an array of accents, experiences, and attitudes, but sometimes communications can exit me feeling like Alan Turing trying to crack the Enigma Code.
The most flummoxing messages come from an Afghani with gloomy auburn hair, milk coloured skin, and freckles (An exotic rarity… ‘Full of Eastern promise’, but with a ‘touch of the Blarney’). He narrates texts into his phone and just sends the resulting gobbledegook.
‘IS A BUS Moment SO IS NOT THE BUS TIME IS PASTIME THAT’S WHY I SAY’
No idea.
‘IF I COMING TOMORROW IS OKAY TODAY IS MY HOUSE IT’S A LOT OF FRIEND THAT IS WHY PLEASE’
Well, of course. No problem.
‘IF YOU PRAY TOMORROW WE CAN MEET AFTER AT 8 O’CLOCK’
Hallelujah… but, for the record, it had nothing to do with prayer, although I did wonder as he was studying Ramadan that month.
‘IF YOU WANT ME TONIGHT WE GONNA MEET BECAUSE IT’S TOMMORROW WE’RE NOT FREE SORRY SO TOMORROW WE GOING DEFINITELY WORKING SO NEED TO FREE IS TONIGHT BECAUSE NIN